Dick Proebstle

 

Richard James Proebstle Eulogy

I am honored greatly to be able to express myself with you on behalf of my brother, Dick. But first, I would like to thank each of you for your presence here and the wonderful compassion and kindnesses in your cards, emails and phone calls to the family. They really did make a difference.

In 2005, Steven Jobs addressed the Stanford University graduation class and in his commencement address he was quoted as saying, “No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don’t want to die to get there.” He expanded the point by saying, “Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life’s change agent. In his conclusion he said, ”Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.”

I started thinking about this more. While the physical and metaphysical changes for Dick are self apparent, changes that came as a byproduct of his death became interesting. I’d like to mention a few:

  1. Mike and Patty and Carole and I were privileged to tag team what turned out to be a week-long vigil with Dick. During that time it became very apparent as to how much Mike and Patty had grown into their responsibilities in managing the complication of Dick’s affairs over the last few years—right through until today when we say farewell. They loved their father very much as he loved them.
  2. I changed because Dick’s situation gave me an opportunity over the last few years to give back to a brother who gave so much to me. Our connection at all stages in life was very strong. It was Carole, however, who noticed that despite my changes, Dick and I had grown to look more and more alike. She came into Dick’s room at the Peabody the night before he died. I was asleep on a recliner chair next to Dick’s bed. My head was back, mouth open, breathing heavily; just as Dick’s was. Carole laughed out loud with how much we looked alike and nearly put a Post-it note on my forehead saying, “This is the visiting brother…do not medicate.”
  3. Dick was a challenging resident in the beginning at The Peabody. I saw their staff change over time, however, and continually make the second effort in order to make Dick feel at home. It was heartwarming to hear their stories while we were there as to how Dick had become part of their family.
  4. Some of you know that Dick’s brain has been donated to Boston University where leading research is being conducted into Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy or CTE dementia. It’s a growing concern for players receiving repetitive head concussions in contact sports and can only be diagnosed post-mortem. Isn’t this just classic Dick Proebstle overachievement. His greatest contribution in sports may be yet to come…after his death. Hopefully, it will facilitate change.
  5. Throughout the process of Dick’s death, family and friends, like yourselves, made comments that aren’t a normal part of day-to-day living. Sometimes these acts of love and compassion go unsaid in our lives, but not this time. I was particularly comforted by everyone in my immediate family and in particular by a voice mail message from my son, Jeff, which I will probably never erase.
  6. Lastly when considering these changes and I’m sure there are many others, the ultimate question arises…Are we really going to change? Will we actually become better as a result of reflecting on the experiences of the death of someone we love?

As a brother, I look at Dick’s role in life as a Warrior…”a man of honor experienced in the battle and willing to lead and take on the fight.” Positive characteristics for a Warrior include: competitiveness, achievement driven, leader, high personal code, etc. These all leave us with very big shoes to fill. I know first-hand from St. Joan of Arc, Central Catholic and Michigan State just how big those shoes were. But, just as there are strengths to being a Warrior, there are also weaknesses; ego driven, hard on relationships, inflexible and self-destructiveness to name a few.

 

Carole has a saying in her psychology practice that, “Life is all about learning.” With that thought in mind, Dick got a Ph.D in life. His amazing talents translated into outward success, as well as major setbacks. When I combine his experiences (both the high’s and low’s) with what we now recognize as literally decades of progressive suffering from CTE dementia—Dick’s last 20 + years were very troubled. With the benefit of hindsight, it is easy for me and those around him to track the debilitating signs of the disease (withdrawn, aggression, depression, failing executive functioning leading to judgment, decision-making and financial management issues, anxiety, panic attacks, paranoia, and even psychotic breaks with the final result being an overall diminishment of mental and physical capacities). As a Warrior, his natural instinct was to cover these up by fighting back…believing he could overcome…as a Warrior does…as he had always done. As the saying goes in sports, “The great ones play hurt.” This was no more evident than at his induction at the Stark County HS Football Hall of Fame. I knew I would have to do his acceptance speech, which I was honored to do, but that wasn’t enough for Dick as he insisted on taking the MIC to talk. For several minutes he held the audience’s attention attempting to say what was important to him. He could not articulate a single audible word as much as he tried. What everyone in the room did hear, however, was the heart of a champion.

Participating in Dick’s life and reliving it over during the last few weeks was a fantastic journey that I’ll treasure as a brother. Growing up with parents who showered us with love and solid direction; Dick’s life started here at St. Joan of Arc in grade school as an altar boy, voice in the choir, student and athlete. That led to a phenomenal student-athlete experience at Central Catholic, and to Michigan State University where he graduated on time and received 5 varsity letters in baseball and football. Afterwards, canoe trips with older brother John, vacations together, building a family and spending time in MN are just some of the remembrances that will be missed. As his career in business developed, many achievements followed with his responsibilities at IBM, NML and Mid-States Equipment.

For me, however, it’s the loss of a brother who always bailed me out of difficulties while growing up, Dick gave me solid advice when I was about to make a wrong turn, he was helpful beyond expectation on projects involving time and labor, and his subtle yet powerful words of encouragement, just when I needed it “about how proud he was of me” and “how he always referred to me with others as a winner,” left their indelible mark. In football the first rule of an offensive lineman is to protect your Q-back. I could have never asked for a better Q-back to protect.

I found a place to conclude this eulogy in Leo Tolstoy’s War and Peace, which is probably appropriate considering the time I’ve taken. The quote comes from the character, Prince Andrew, “Love is life itself. All, everything that I understand, I understand only because I love. Everything is, everything exists only because I love. Everything is united by love alone. Love is God, and to die means that I, a particle of love, shall return to this eternal source called God.”

The wound we feel now losing Dick, as a father, brother, uncle, friend or teammate will turn to a scar. We just have to remember that the scar we carry is a sign that the wound has healed and that life is moving forward.

Thank you.

Mike Pyle

 

 

Mike Pyle attended New Trier High School in Winnetka, Illinois, where he was a multi-sport athlete with several state championships to his credit. He graduated in 1957 from New Trier and went on to Yale University, where he was a member of Skull and Bones. He was an offensive linemen for the Bulldogs and captained the undefeated, co-Lambert Trophy winner 1960 team. The 1960 team was ranked 14th in the final AP college football poll and 18th in the final UPI college football poll. Mike played nine seasons for George Halas with the Chicago Bears from 1961 through 1969. In 1963 he was named a Pro Bowler and served as the Bears offensive team captain from 1963 through his retirement. He was named to the Sporting News First Team – All Conference and the UPI Second Team – All NFL in 1963 and to the New York Daily News All NFL team in 1965.

 

Chicago’s own

Mike’s return to Chicago to play for the Bears was special—it was home. He brought with him from Yale a unique ability to lead and, in this case, the Bears possessed a very talented group of performance driven athletes who would respond.  He simply valued each player for their ability to contribute. It may also have been his sense of humor that complemented his effective leadership style as captain of the Bears for so many years, as the team chemistry and locker room comradery became a trademark of their success. Regardless, whether it was on the field or through his successful involvement in the many fundraiser and charity events filling his post-playing years, leadership and generosity of his own time was at the heart of Mike’s success. His life was always about “doing for others.” He is remembered as a good and loyal friend.

In 1969, Mike became a broadcaster for WGN radio, where he was the Bears pre and post-game program host, as well as the host of a Sunday sports talk show. He later co-hosted the “Mike Ditka Show” when Ditka coached the Bears. In 1974 he served as color commentator on the broadcasts of the WFL’s Chicago Fire on WJJD.  This celebrity status fueled the countless requests to be in the public eye.  In some respects it provided Mike a way to stay in the game even though his playing days were over, not an uncommon reaction on the part of many athletes who have reached the rarified air of becoming a household name.

Undefined change became the norm

In the early ‘90s Mike’s behavior problems became an issue. No one knew about CTE and its related demonstrations of rage and temper outbursts. Bad behavior shifted from logical reactions of disagreement when he was young to absurd, over-the-top reactions when he was older. OCD and micromanaging in a mean-spirited and judgmental manner became the norm. He went from being a people person who was the last to leave a party to a deep stage of withdrawal, not talking other than to answer questions, and when he did talk he yelled, always finding fault with what was wrong. It never occurred to the family that Mike was suffering from a disease –they just didn’t know—nobody knew. An excessive consumption of alcohol, a common form of self-medication, contributed to a skyrocketing display of difficult, antisocial behavior.

Mike’s true friends from years as an athlete and public event promotions were forgiving and tremendously loyal in his decline. His choice of jobs and job prospects, however, predictably declined rapidly, as the behavior changes became uncontrolled. It’s important to remember that NFL players did not make a lot of money in the ‘60s. The 2007-2008 hip replacement represented a low as the rehab forced an unforeseen alcohol withdrawal and drying out period involving hallucinations, physical threats and needed security support. After his recovery, Mike carried on in limited public engagements because of his enduring celebrity status. People would enable him to stay involved as long as the endorsements held out. Not surprisingly, the conflict from the growing CTE behaviors brought an end to the public role. Sadly, Mike’s ability to “do for others” disappeared. Organizations such as Better Boys Foundation, Juvenile Diabetes, and the Jack Quinlan Charity Golf Tournaments, to name a few, lost an effective and avid celebrity promoter. In time, Mike was blocked, pushed aside and marginalized as a past president of the NFL Retired Players Association from the ‘60s. His psyche was devastated as he attempted to continue the good fight for the older players. The focus and politics were shifting to the newer players, however, and away from the physical and medical needs of the older players who built the NFL.

The homefront

Candy, Mike’s second wife for over thirty years, kept the blended family with four children intact as Mike’s need to do for others occasionally worked to the detriment of the kids. He was always doing for others—a favor, a letter, a charitable engagement, etc. competed with his family duties. The priorities of “doing for others” always came first. In the end, he would never say no to a request—the player inside of him always wanted to be in the game—making a difference. Living with a retired professional athlete led to weekly individual, couple’s and family therapy sessions as they coped with the entitlement of the famous athlete that was losing his place in the sports headlines. Depression and dysfunctional family dynamic issues were addressed with anti-depressants in order to mitigate Mike’s rages. Through the process however, the family members ultimately recognized Mike was suffering from a serious illness. Mike was the love of Candy’s life and witnessing Mike’s decline was the hardest thing she’s ever had to endure. It was sad that the family didn’t know what was happening and that the disease had a name—chronic traumatic encephalopathy.

Despite the obstacles, Mike pushed forward choosing jobs in sales that didn’t always work out, and when customers wouldn’t buy his product his anger became obvious. Mike may have been taken advantage of because of his name recognition, as it appeared that he frequently was not the right person to sell many of the products he represented. This lack of success, coupled with unsound money decisions on his part, furthered family difficulties.

The 88 Plan

Around the years 2000-2001, Mike’s symptoms of dementia became apparent even though Mike acknowledged only two or three concussions in his career. His condition worsened as a result of the repetitive sub concussive blows to the head, common to a center’s position, and in 2013 his family was forced to put him into a full-time assisted living facility. Mike was accepted into the Silverado, a national chain of assisted living facilities and a preferred provider to the NFL.

The NFL had created The 88 Plan, a brain trauma program named for Hall of Fame tight end John Mackey, whose number was 88. Mackey was suffering from CTE dementia by the time he died in 2011. The 88 Plan’s goal was to treat all former players with at least three years of service that were suffering from dementia. The plan had very strict NFL guidelines and would only reimburse the families for the first $88K of expenses incurred. Since many of these players had little money they could only afford the Silverado because of The 88 Plan. Ironically, however, The Plan didn’t always cover all of the expenses, often leaving families in debt. Two hundred and twenty-three players have been approved thus far for The 88 Plan since its inception in 2005.

Mike Pyle suffered in a vegetative state at the Silverado and died on July 29, 2015 from a brain hemorrhage complicated by an additional diagnosis of Stage IV CTE dementia and advanced Alzheimer’s.

 

Football in the future

Two of Mike’s grandsons (12 and 14) play flag football and enjoy it. Both mom and grandma agree that the few new skills learned in tackle football at their age aren’t worth the risk considering the vulnerability to the developing 8-14 year-old brain. Samantha, the boys’ mom, has deferred any decision to support the boys’ involvement in tackle football until the game becomes safer. She does recognize that some boys have the need for rough and tumble contact, but ultimately, her boys’ safety is of primary concern. Samantha has been very involved with the great things being done by the Concussion Legacy Foundation. With her help, Team Up Speak Up Day was successfully launched in the Palm Desert schools. Candy, the boys’ grandmother, is not convinced that football, as we know it, is worth the risk. Both agree, however, that if either of the boys play tackle football it will be in a world very different from their grandfather’s

In summary

When you consider the body of Mike’s work throughout life, whether in football, the public eye of non-profit organizations or with his family, his purpose was always true—adding value with his devotion and passion. He was a wonderful man and it was a terrible waste to lose him. Even with the many benefits that come with celebrity status, it’s unfair that so many players in a similar position to Mike’s are paying the price for ignorance regarding the devastating impact of concussions. A very close friend of Mike’s, as well as of the family, would agree that losing such a good friend and beautiful person was an empty outcome considering the commitment he gave.

Kyle Raarup

Kyle loved all sports, all his life. He played as much and as many sports as he possibly could, with football and hockey being his favorites. He was a fiercely competitive and driven athlete. He was naturally gifted with speed, agility, and great eye-hand coordination. He was a running back for football, offensive player in hockey, and could play any position he was put in for baseball. Kyle loved it all and loved the friendships that playing sports offered him.

As it is with any dedicated athlete, Kyle was hit many times with only minor injuries. Concussions, in our mind, happened when you got knocked out from a hit, or got your “bell rung”. As the injuries continued and we became more informed about concussions we realized that Kyle had suffered many minor concussions from about 4th grade on. It wasn’t until Kyle was in 8th grade and experienced a check from behind into the boards in hockey when he started having lasting symptoms that we could not control. He waited the recommended two weeks before playing again, only to be hit from behind again when he returned to play. This time he had such severe headaches and other symptoms that he was unable to return to sports or school. Each bump to his head after that caused increasingly severe symptoms for an extended amount of time.

Over the years of seeing innumerable doctors and other medical professionals, Kyle was diagnosed with post concussive syndrome. While it was nice to have a name for what he was going through, Kyle wanted something that would help his symptoms. This seemed to be an elusive goal. He was a trooper and tried every therapy, testing, medication, vitamin, whatever we could find to try to alleviate the pain and memory/thinking difficulties he was experiencing. None worked well, which was a source of great frustration to Kyle. He wanted his brain to go back to normal.

Kyle was able to attend college where he flourished with the assistance of the student services program that allowed him accommodations for his anxiety and inability to handle a lot of sensory input during testing. Kyle loved college and the friends he made there. He was outgoing, cheerful, energetic, and fun to be around. His continued struggles with his anxiety/depression, memory problems and a new stomach ailment overwhelmed him and he took his life on 11/12/15. His brain was donated to the Boston University CTE study in order to find out the answer to his nagging question “what’s wrong with my brain and why can’t it be fixed?”

In December 2016, we found out that Kyle was diagnosed with Stage I CTE along with some brain abnormalities (micro hemorrhages and hippocampus damage) that helped his family get some answers to that nagging question of “what was going on in his brain?” His suicide and the Boston University brain study has helped raise awareness in our community of the lasting impact that concussions can have on the life of a young adult. The loss of a child, brother and friend to many has hit us all hard and will be something that we struggle with for a long time. We are grateful to the Concussion Legacy Foundation for their research and to finally give us some answers, and for their efforts to continue to find answers for future athletes. Kyle would be proud to be a part of this important research and the continued efforts made to understand the devastating affects concussions have on young lives.

We miss him every day, but are proud of who Kyle was and how he has helped us and others understand mental illness and concussions.

Watch: Kyle’s Story: Minnesota Family Raising Awareness About CTE

James Rahal

Jim played high school football in Belmont, MA. At the beginning of his senior year he sustained a concussion which left him in a coma for two days. Although that ended his football-playing days, he went on to play baseball for Harvard during his undergraduate years, and was a lifelong recreational tennis player.

Jim’s professional work was in academic medicine. He served as chief of Infectious Diseases at both NYU/VA Medical Center in Manhattan and New York Hospital/Queens from the early 1970s until just a few months before he died. He developed an international reputation for his original clinical research in his field.

In 2002 he underwent neurosurgery for a brain tumor, which was diagnosed as Rosai-Dorfman Disease, an extremely rare condition. Although he returned to work and functioned well for several years, he began to decline; it began with a seizure in 2008 and then subtle, but increasingly apparent, changes in mood and affect, as well as difficulty with mobility.

Although his death was attributed to complications from Rosai-Dorfman Disease, his wife Barbara contacted Chris Nowinski and Dr. Robert Cantu at the Concussion Legacy Foundation, asking them to consider his case because of his high school football concussion history, as well as two or three head injuries he had sustained in auto accidents as an adult.

Dustin Rees

Dustin Lee Rees was a very charismatic and outgoing person, who loved trying and exploring new things. Born on January 17, 1979 in Jackson, Missouri, he never met a stranger wherever he went and was a loyal friend to everyone. He had a passion for the outdoors, whether riding his BMW adventure motorcycle, biking, fishing, or camping, in addition to playing guitar. Dustin also had a keen interest in electronics and learning about new technologies. He would spend countless hours researching the best gadgets for any adventure and how they could be made even better.

Dustin had a distinguished military career, serving in the U.S. Marine Corps from 2000 to 2003 and the Missouri Army National Guard from 2004 to 2019. He deployed three times during his nearly 20 years of service. Dustin was part of the initial invasion into Iraq in 2003-2004 with the U.S. Marine Corps, served in Operation Iraqi Freedom in 2005-2006 with the 110th Engineers Battalion, and participated in Operation Enduring Freedom in Afghanistan in 2012-2013 with the 1138th Engineering Company. His bravery and dedication earned him numerous awards, including two Bronze Stars and a Meritorious Service Medal.

Before his death, Dustin was pursuing his electrical engineering degree at the University of Colorado – Denver. He was a graduate of Jackson High School.

Dustin passed away on July 20, 2023 at the age of 44. He is survived by his loving wife, Michelle Rees, of Centennial, Colorado; two sons, Sammy Rees, his wife Holly Rees and daughter Margaux, and Hunter Rees, his wife Zoe Rees, all of Jackson, Missouri. He is also survived by his brothers, Tyler Rees and Kyle Rees; his father, Danny Rees; mother, Sandra Dee Kasten (Boyd); and grandfather, Don Rees, all of Cape Girardeau and Jackson, Missouri.

Dustin will be deeply missed by his family, friends, and all who had the privilege of knowing him. May his memory live on in our hearts forever.