A Former NHL Player’s Message on Concussions

Posted: October 25, 2019

That included hiding every injury that he could for fear of losing his job. Huscroft estimates he suffered at least 14 concussions through his career. In 2001, after several concussions compounded to the point that he could no longer hide the symptoms, he had to walk away.

Huscroft now works as a director of facilities for a nonprofit hockey association in Washington. He’s surrounded by the game he loves and enjoys giving back to the hockey community. He is working hard to make sure the old culture of unnecessary hits and hiding hockey injuries is a thing of the past. To that end, Huscroft brought the Team Up Against Concussions education program to coaches and athletes at Sno-King Ice Sports as part of USA Hockey’s Team Up Against Concussions Week.

In the interview below, Huscroft talks about his love for the game, how concussions impacted his career, and the importance of sharing the Team Up Against Concussions message.

What was it like to have such a long hockey career and what has it meant to you since?

Playing professional hockey was never on the forefront of my mind growing up. I came from a small town in British Columbia and everybody played hockey. If there were 15 boys in the class, 14 of them played hockey. On weekends we all gathered around and watched Hockey Night in Canada. It was just something we did for fun. I never thought it would take me anywhere.

When I finally did start playing more seriously in junior hockey, I loved the culture, the players, the coaching. It really taught me hard work. If you had even an inclination or a thought of moving on to the next level, you had to work hard. That attitude continued on throughout my career. When I got drafted into the NHL the reality was that a mistake could cost you everything. Especially if you were someone with my talent. I didn’t have much talent. I worked hard and I was tough, but I lived on that fringe every day where I woke up every day not knowing how long I’d have a job.

That experience really helped me in the second phase of my life and career. It prepared me for all kinds of things. I work for a nonprofit hockey association and I have for the past 15 years. I’m surrounded by kids and people who want to be at the rink every day. It’s great. Every day I wake up and thank the good Lord that he gave me the chance to play in the best league in the world for quite some time.

What was your experience with injuries and concussions during your career?

Back in the day, most of us didn’t want to take a game off. I remember Kenny Daneyko who was the fiercest warrior I’ve ever played with or against in the NHL. There were times that his teeth got taken out, his finger was broken, or his foot got broken with a slapshot or something and I’d say to him, “Kenny – why don’t you take a couple games off and let me play?” I was the 7th defensemen and could have filled in. He said to me, “Husky, if I let you play, I may never get in the lineup again.” And I’d say, “Yea you will, you’re Kenny Daneyko!” But things like that made me feel like it didn’t matter what happened—you couldn’t sit out a game.

I wound up with at least 14 concussions. There were times that I’d take a big check and I’d get knocked out, but I’d be able to get right up. If anyone asked what happened, I’d tell them my knee went out or my shoulder was hurt but I would never let them know that I got knocked out. Unless it was blatantly obvious, because if I got known for having a glass-jaw or not being able to take a hit then by golly I wouldn’t have a job the next contract.

How did concussions lead to your retirement?

I was in Vancouver when I was probably close to 30-years-old. I played three exhibition games in a row and I got knocked out three times in a row over the course of a week. That was the beginning of the end for me. There is nothing you can do to hide the injury at that point. I think the hits were from a fight, an elbow, and a simple hit to the boards. It buckled my knees every time, but I got right up because that was my job. I knew that if I said I got a concussion, I could be out for months and I wouldn’t be sure if I was coming back to a contract or not. So out of pure stupidity I didn’t speak up.

I look back and I think “why did I do that?” But that was your life when you were in the thick of a career. That’s all you knew. You just said, “I’m a warrior. I’ll get around it and persevere.” Well, that didn’t happen, and my symptoms stuck with me. A year after that I took a simple body check in an AHL game and I never recovered. I was out of the game, and it kept me out.

I had deep, dark symptoms. The whole bit. But I was one of the ones who came out of it. I had a good support system. I rebounded and I luckily got a job in business where I was exercising my brain and working out physically on my own. I rebounded and I’m very fortunate.

How can Team Up Against Concussions help prepare teams to spot and respond to concussions?

No matter where you are and what you’re doing, if you’re playing sports concussions are a possibility. It all stems at the top with your team manager or coach. With Team Up, it’s vitally and critically important that we all get the coaches and managers and players to spread that message that teammates have a responsibility to look out for each other when it comes to concussions. It is so important that we recognize concussions on the ice or on the bench. To do that we get need to teach players the Team Up message in the locker room, on the team bus, and on the ice.

You can’t tough out a concussion. I think coaches all know about it, and I think USA hockey and Hockey Canada have done a lot to educate all these coaches throughout the Level 1-5 courses that athletes can’t tough out concussions. We know to respect concussions, and the challenge is to respond accordingly. The awareness is 100-fold now compared to when I was a kid.

Do you think the culture surrounding concussions has changed since you played?

In my day, in the 80s, we knew what concussions were, but we didn’t change our behavior much. Now that we all know and respect concussions, we know that you have to be really careful. Sports, especially hockey, has done a great job taking steps to protect our youth. There is no hitting until you get to the 13-year-old level. Even then the hitting is at the top tiers. Very few hockey players will ever go on to experience the full-contact game. Kudos to USA Hockey and the NHL for adapting, bringing this issue to the forefront, and protecting our youth.

Across the board leagues are taking unnecessary hitting out of the game. I oversee about 700 athletes in our adult league right now and I’m on the discipline committee. We do not accept hitting. If you take a run at somebody and hit them and knock them over, that’s it – you’re suspended. And if you do it a couple of times, we kick you right out of the league. And youth they’re doing the same thing. Kudos to all the people that are advancing this culture change.

Embracing Epilepsy with an EPIC Mindset

Posted: October 4, 2019

“If I woke up this morning, I’m winning.” Rap lyrics from 2 Chainz that really hit home. Not only do I strive to live each day with a grateful heart, but as someone with epilepsy I go to bed each night knowing I may have multiple seizures in my sleep, if I wake up the next morning, it is truly a blessing.

That’s how I’ve learned to see my life with epilepsy – as a blessing. Every day I choose to focus on what I can do, instead of what I can’t. If you’re out there living with epilepsy, living with seizures in any way, I hope I can inspire you to do the same.

I’ve had an eight-year journey with epilepsy. I developed it in my early 20’s during my football career. I detail my concussion history and the beginning of my experience with seizures and how it impacted my relationships in the piece, “How Football Changed my Life.” It’s been a long road, with some serious lows, but living with epilepsy has taught me so much.  It’s taught me that greatness isn’t reaching every goal in life, greatness is the maximum effort you’re able to give – win, lose or draw. Not everyone will beat epilepsy, but I want us all to find greatness in the fight, in knowing we’re trying.

I try to live with an EPIC mindset, and I want to encourage you to do the same. EPIC stands for epilepsy, pride, inspiration and courage.  Epilepsy looks different for each of the 40 million people in the world who suffer from it. It’s a chronic neurological disorder that produces brief disturbances in the normal electrical functions of the brain, causing recurrent seizures. Some people are born with it. Others develop it later in life from a brain injury, brain tumor, stroke or other reasons. Some have grand mal seizures, others don’t. Along with seizures, many have debilitating headaches, nausea, memory loss and fatigue.

No matter what your experience with epilepsy looks like, I want you to know people are capable of loving you, and people are capable of understanding what you’re going through. It’s easy to put walls up, but sometimes we have to let our guard down and figure out a way to get through to society, so they see beyond our seizures and realize we’re humans too. We have bills, stress, trials and daily obstacles we face just like anybody else, yet we get looked at like we’re lazy bums. Trust me, I want to go to work, but I don’t want to have a seizure and put somebody in harm’s way. Many of us are unable to work with our conditions, but we still have to find a way to provide and live in a world where money is key in everything you do or want to be.

Imagine, out of nowhere, your body jerking violently out of your control. Or you lose the ability to control your speech. Sometimes you go completely blank, as if you’re stuck in space for a short period of time. A seizure can hit at any moment, at any time. The very noticeable symptoms are hard to hide.   We need to spread more cultural awareness of seizures, so people can understand what we’re going through and realize in those scary moments, we need someone to help us, not make fun of us. It’s easy to be embarrassed, but I want to be part of a movement where we erase the shame and realize the epilepsy is not our fault. We didn’t ask for this, but it’s our reality and we have to find the strength to get through it.

I won’t accept epilepsy beating me down or getting in my way of bettering myself. It’s all about going out there and just trying every day. Being misunderstood in society can cause a lot of pain. I walk around looking like a “normal” person. People say I don’t look like I have seizures, I look athletic. While that can be hard to hear, I have to accept that some people will listen when I try to explain my condition and others won’t. The epilepsy community needs to be there to support each other and offer that understanding.  We are in a unique position and what we’re going through completely changes lives.

Epilepsy is a monster. It’s so humbling and eye opening to try and understand something you’ve never seen. I’ve never seen someone have a grand mal seizure. It’s amazing when you have people around you who can recognize it and take care of you. I have friends who tell me they caught me before I fell and laid me down because they knew what was going on. It’s scary to lose all control of your body and mind during a seizure, but I’ve learned how to have enough pride to accept help. Let’s all have enough pride to get up every day with epilepsy and try our hardest, but not the sort of false pride where we don’t let people in. It’s easy to push people away because you’re caught up in yourself and your own struggles, but when somebody is there for you, don’t misconstrue it. Try to remind yourself they’re facing struggles as well and you must be there for them too. Let’s have enough pride to be honest about what we’re going through. I want to be able to admit to my wife that I don’t remember things that happened at our wedding. It’s frustrating not to remember, but I have enough pride not to lie, and to own my illness and its symptoms. You must have enough pride to look past people’s opinions about your injury. If you let the negativity bother you, you can lose yourself. Instead, let’s work together to educate people on what to do when they see someone having a seizure.

CLF’s ’18-’19 Teammate of the Year: Lynn Kleyer

Posted: September 10, 2019 

The University of Northern Iowa junior and her teammates have a unique understanding of the value of concussion safety. Current UNI women’s rugby head coach Meghan Flanigan makes it a priority to educate her athletes on brain trauma and concussions, to honor the program’s former longtime coach Steve Murra. Murra passed away in 2016 and was later diagnosed by researchers at the VA-BU-CLF Brain Bank with Stage II CTE.

Murra’s passing started a lasting conversation about concussions and brain trauma within the eastern Iowa community. Flanigan, who played for Murra, says the team aims to continue his legacy by doing more than just playing excellent rugby. Many athletes on the team pledged to donate their brains for research at the VA-BU-CLF Brain Bank and have delivered the Team Up Speak Up Speech each year since 2016.

After learning about Murra’s passing when she joined the team her freshman year, Kleyer worked to gain a stronger understanding of concussions and CTE.

“In high school I didn’t really think concussions were a big deal,” Kleyer said. “Knowing the signs and symptoms of a concussion definitely has opened my eyes to seeing what I need to do to take care of my body.”

During a 2018 all-star rugby game, Kleyer put her knowledge into practice. She noticed her teammate took a hard hit to the head. When asked if she felt alright, Kleyer’s teammate was quick to say she was fine, but Kleyer kept a watchful eye on her friend as they continued the match. A few plays later, her teammate took another bad hit.

“I could definitely tell right away something was up and she wasn’t doing OK,” Kleyer said.

She noticed her teammate was getting up much slower than usual.

“Our ‘thing’ as a team is to push each other if we are ever winded,” Kleyer said. “We’ll say, ‘get up! You’re OK!’”

In this situation, though, she could tell her teammate was suffering from something more serious than fatigue. Kleyer told fellow teammates to help her injured friend as she brought the situation to Coach Flanigan’s attention.

“I was talking to some other coaches trying to form a game plan when I heard the ref’s whistle blow,” Flanigan said. “I heard Kleyer screaming my name and saw her talking to the refs.”

The injured player was brought off the field and evaluated. Doctors eventually diagnosed her with a concussion. Kleyer made sure to check up on her daily during her recovery as she sat out from classes and practice.

The best teammates, like Kleyer, care more about the health and wellbeing of their teammates than they do about winning or losing. If it weren’t for Kleyer’s leadership, her teammate could’ve continued to play and risked developing serious health consequences like Post-Concussion Syndrome (PCS), or even Second Impact Syndrome (SIS), a rare condition that is often fatal when it occurs.

By working with the team’s Athletic Trainer and following their return to play protocol, Kleyer’s teammate was able to take the field again later that season.

“Had we not been proactive in saying something she could’ve been out a lot longer,” Kleyer said. “She was able to continue playing later on…that gave me happiness.”

Coach Flanigan says all her players take concussions very seriously, but especially Kleyer.

“Every year she is one of the first to inform the girls what a concussion is,” Flanigan said. “What we can do as a team, what to look for.”

Coach Flanigan wasn’t surprised it was Kleyer who stopped the game to get her teammate help, describing Kleyer as having a “natural ability to lead people on and off the field.”

Watch the University of Northern Iowa Women’s rugby team give the Team Up Against Concussions Speech:

Two of Kleyer’s own personal role models, Alev Kelter and Kate Zackary, are members of USA Rugby Women’s Eagles Sevens team. The Concussion Legacy Foundation is proud to partner with USA Rugby for the first ever USA Rugby Team Up Speak Up Week Sept. 8- 14, 2019. Members of the USA Rugby community can pledge to participate and learn more here.

Teams from every sport can participate in Team Up Against Concussions. Get started here.

My Fight Against The Invisible Injury

Posted: June 13, 2019

As time went on, my headaches became rather unbearable and I could no longer tolerate gymnastics. So, 10 days after the initial incident, we went to the emergency room where it was confirmed that I did indeed have a concussion and could be at risk of developing Post-Concussion Syndrome (PCS). At that point we knew something more serious was going on than we thought and took all precautions.

With my headaches persisting and new sensitivities to light, sound, temperature and motion, I spent the next couple of months sleeping a lot, staying up in my room, and isolating myself from the outside world. I wasn’t quite sure what was going on, or what to do. We started to search for more doctors who could give us advice or guidance on treatments, as well as more information about concussions and PCS. Much of the time we got conflicting information and opposing advice. I started to realize not many people knew exactly what was going on in my brain, or what was causing my continued head and neck pain.

I had to miss starting high school for the first month, which is when you form most of your new friendships. I had a short period of time after seeing an acupuncturist when I felt better and returned to school, but the headaches soon returned. A few months after that, we were referred to a pain clinic as my headaches continued and I was medically deteriorating. We were hoping for a miracle.

The pain rehab program ended up doing much more harm than good because they did not understand PCS. The theory behind this program is to push through your pain, but it pushed me so far above my threshold that it ended up leaving me in a very bad place for a very long time. I had trouble just walking around school and got winded going up and down stairs. I spent most of the time at school in the nurses or guidance offices.

Deciding to Leave School

I was pushed not to leave school early, would only be allowed short breaks, and was strongly encouraged to take a computer technology class even when screen time was so difficult for me. As an athlete, I was used to being in the gym for many hours several days a week and learning to push through fears and pain on a regular basis. I could not understand why this recovery was so hard for me.

On the advice of the pain rehab program, I even went on a cross country flight to Hawaii as a “therapeutic” getaway. Neither I nor my family felt comfortable with the idea, but we tried anyway. With all the stimulation, decreased oxygen levels on the plane, crowds, loud noises, and lengthy plane ride it proved to be so far over my activity threshold that it sent me into a downward spiral that took me over a year to get out of. It was traumatic and not enjoyable at all. While there, my pain got so unbearable, that for the first time I felt truly hopeless and like I could no longer live this way.

I spent the next several months in and out of school, with my pain still worsening. I tried several different medications, many of which had scary side effects that were even worse than my symptoms. We investigated a multitude of treatments and everything under the sun to try and get some relief, even post-traumatic stress therapies. Car rides made me sick, but staying home was isolating. There were times when I would scream out loud for help due to the pain and other times I would go into my basement and scream into a pillow. I would refuse to go near a TV or sounds, even music or people talking. I would refuse to leave the house. The pain and distress escalated to the point where I was becoming someone I didn’t even recognize.

I could not accept what was happening to me. I felt like no one could help me, none of the treatments were working, and every doctor would say to “give it time,” but I felt like I could barely make it through each day. It was an everyday battle fighting negative thoughts and trying to stay positive. I was angry and irritable at times, and for a while, I could not see a future for myself.

The more I went to school, the worse my headaches got. After a while it got to the point where I was present at school, but not participating. That’s when we decided I should stop going, and I ended up leaving my freshman year and completing the work at home in small doses over the summer. I missed out on the entire high school experience. My friends from home and the gym started to forget about me and my coach didn’t understand how my recovery could possibly be taking so long.

A Burst of Hope

One night, I believe I got a gift from God. My mom and I were researching when we stumbled across the Concussion Legacy Foundation website, where we found stories of kids just like me. Before then, I had no idea that a concussion could last so long or be so severe. I was insistent that it couldn’t “just” be a concussion, and something more serious had to be going on.

The website had so much valuable information and we learned so much about what was happening to me, and that it was normal. It gave me a burst of hope. That’s also when we found Dr. Cantu. Thanks to Dr. Cantu, I was diagnosed with “dysautonomia,” a common PCS symptom that went unnoticed by several doctors. It helped to explain a lot of mysterious symptoms.

Dysautonomia is a term that describes what happens when your autonomic nervous system becomes dysregulated. This affected my heart rate, blood pressure, and temperature control and explained why I was having so much trouble with any physical activity. It also gave me flushing and burning of my face and hot and cold spells.

I had to be put on a Beta Blocker to control my blood pressure and use ice packs on my head, cheeks and even sometimes my feet to keep me cool! Since your brain controls all of your body functions, really anything can be affected by a concussion. I have also had issues with my endocrine system which controls hormones. My cortisol levels increased due to stress, which can contribute to weight gain and make other symptoms worse.

The truth about PCS is that there aren’t enough doctors, clinicians, coaches or parents that fully understand it. After discovering the Concussion Legacy Foundation website, Dr. Cantu, and the Headache Clinic at Boston Children’s Hospital, we could finally start the recovery process appropriately.

Tallying My Symptoms and Treatments

During this process I have celebrated 2 birthdays, missed most of freshman year and all of sophomore year. I have seen over 45 different doctors/ medical personnel, including four acupuncturists, six PT’s, five neurologists, one neurosurgeon, one hypnotist, five psychologists, one psychiatrist, four orthopedists, two cardiologists, one endocrinologist, one craniosacral therapist, four massage therapists, three pediatricians, three chiropractors, and two vision therapists. This does not include medical personnel from a few hospital stays! I have received nearly 200 various painful injections (not including acupuncture which does not hurt!) to my forehead, head, temples, neck, shoulders, and the bridge of my nose.

Note: CLF does not endorse all the therapies described above. Consult your doctor for a personalized treatment plan.

My Recovery and Message to Others

And finally, the good news. About a year after my injury, my headaches started to get less severe. It appeared the treatments were helping. That was my turning point. And then, a few months later, what really pushed me over the edge in my recovery was when I began seeing a Manual Physical Therapist. He was able to feel things that do not appear on any MRI. He was able to gently correct a misalignment of my skull and neck joints that no one else had discovered. I am now a year and a half post injury and feeling better every day. I still have a long road ahead to achieve full recovery and return to school and sports, but I can finally see the finish line and I want others to know that it can happen for them too!

 

The reason I am sharing my story, and all of my hardships with PCS, is not to scare, but rather to spread awareness of how serious it can be. Before I had PCS myself, I knew nothing about concussions and didn’t know PCS was even a “thing” and now it has consumed my life for nearly two years. PCS affects all aspects of your life and your entire family. Few people fully understand this injury, because it’s invisible. At school kids would say things like “concussions can’t last that long,” or “I had a concussion and it only lasted a couple days,” or “you’re so lucky you get to miss school.” I had some of my friends and acquaintances wonder if I was faking or exaggerating. Classmates would stare at me. Little did they know what my life was really like.

 

 

My best advice for anyone going through this is to keep trying until you find something that works for you, never give up hope, and always trust and follow your instincts. You may need to stretch out of your comfort zone but don’t push yourself too hard. Seeking out others who know what you are experiencing is important. Whatever your faith is, don’t stop believing, even if you have moments of doubt. I received over 100 cards, letters and gifts from family, friends and a nation-wide prayer group which was a big comfort. PCS can be overcome and now my focus is on helping as many other people as possible.

Our Duty As Athletes is to Support Research

Posted: April 17, 2019

“More people should be aware that you can pledge to donate your brain to research,” Wilson said. “Without research, we can’t make educated decisions about our sports. I think it’s the duty of players, not just ex-pro athletes, to step up and contribute to research to allow people to make better decisions.”

Wilson spent 15 years as a top-tier professional rugby player, more than double the career length for most of his teammates and opponents. He was born into a rugby family in Belfast, Northern Ireland, started playing at age six, and worked his way up to represent his country on the Irish national team like his grandfather and uncles before him.

As Wilson traveled the globe for Ireland and premiere rugby teams like Ulster and the Northampton Saints, concussions and the long-term impact of brain trauma were not a major concern.

“When you’re playing professional rugby, that’s your lifestyle and your income and your livelihood. You don’t really think too much about brain trauma,” said Wilson. “You’re just focused on getting picked for the team and performing at your maximum.”

In recent years, a global conversation has emerged on brain trauma within rugby. In 2018, the Concussion Legacy Foundation launched the CLF Global Brain Bank to study the brains of former contact sport athletes for CTE. Australian rugby icons Ian Roberts and Peter FitzSimons pledged their brains to support the research. Several other Australian rugby legends went public with cognitive issues they’ve been told are related to their years of hits to the head playing rugby.

Fortunately, Wilson left rugby feeling healthy and without a dramatic concussion history. Reflecting on his retirement in 2017, Wilson said, “I had played such a long career and I was able to finish on my terms, which a lot of players don’t get to do. I was able to play in the very last game of the season, score a try, and get awarded Man of the Match before taking my young son on the field for a lap of honor. In many ways it was a fairytale ending to a long career.” Nonetheless, Wilson knows many athletes aren’t as fortunate and wants to give back to rugby by contributing to research.

“Concussion is something nobody talked about 20 years ago, but thanks to research people are more aware of certain dangers. It’s a bit like the anti-smoking campaign and issues with tobacco. It was only when people realized how bad it could be for you that something was done about it.”

Wilson expects mixed reactions to the news of his brain pledge from rugby fans and former teammates in Ireland. The issue of concussions in rugby has been widely reported in recent years and many people embrace changes to address the danger; however, Wilson anticipates some still won’t understand his enthusiasm to support research and might view it as a part of a larger attack on their beloved sport.

“Where people might ask why I want to pledge my brain, my answer is ‘why not?’” said Wilson. “People may worry this type of research will lead to the demise of contact sports, but we can only make educated decisions if we know the truth. Why would you not want to know the truth?” Wilson hopes that by pledging to donate his brain he can help raise awareness about the need for more concussion education and research.

One famous case in Northern Ireland illustrates, to Wilson, the danger of inaction. Ben Robinson, a 14-year-old boy in Belfast, continued playing in a rugby game despite showing clear signs of a concussion. Robinson collapsed and died from second-impact syndrome. After the tragedy, Robinson’s family boldly advocated for change, and his story led to new regulations in the UK. “We have to recognize the risks,” Wilson said. “People can’t bury their head in the sand. There are families who have gone through real, preventable trauma that we can’t forget about.”

Wilson’s passion as a concussion advocate emerged from intersecting life experiences. A new career, several years’ perspective on life as a professional athlete, and two young children impacted the way he viewed contact sports. “It was only when I retired, and we started a family—we have a young boy who is probably going to get into sports in a year or two—that my conscience changed a little bit and I started thinking about concussion.”

Now, Wilson makes his living teaching the tackling techniques he learned playing rugby to American football players in Dallas, Texas. His knowledge about intentional collisions, coupled with a Master’s in Performance Science that he earned in Ireland, has shaped his efforts to mitigate concussion risk.

Wilson’s new brain donor card will undoubtedly spark conversations among the athletes he played alongside and against. With luck, it will inspire more athletes to follow his lead and act to make their sports safer.

Follow Roger Wilson on Twitter.

Click here to join Wilson and pledge your brain.

Esther Lovett’s Post-Concussion Syndrome Blog

 

 

 

Hockey, Hits, and Hope: Dillon Abend’s Story

Posted: March 27, 2019

I started playing hockey at the age of five, doing local clinics, playing with local travel teams, and doing 3 on 3’s with my cousin. I fell in love with hockey because it takes not only great technique but a great mind to succeed. Hockey is a thinking sport where you must be thinking ahead to the next play before you can execute the current play. Through my own experiences and by learning from my teammates, hockey has made me a more dignified person, a better problem solver, and more understanding.

On a Sunday night in July 2018, though, my hockey career took a pause. One mammoth blow to the head on one play turned my life upside down. That’s why this past year has been the hardest of my life. And that’s why by telling my story, I hope I can provide some hope to other kids going through the same thing. Here’s how it happened.

There was captain’s practice at my High School. There was a coach present, but college kids were running it. At the end of practice, the college kids instructed that we do a non-contact 3-on-3 drill. In the last minute of practice, the college kids blew the whistle and I went in. There were upcoming freshmen on the team and I wanted to show them I was one of the nice kids and to help them learn and develop. I received the puck and dangled through two defenders and looked to pass to a freshman on the post. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a teammate charging at me halfway across the ice. I thought he was just going for the puck, and then BOOM. I was hit by what felt like a truck and suffered a double-concussion. The first came from the whiplash, then the second from my head hitting the ice. I saw stars and was very dizzy and my mind has felt cloudy ever since. I had no idea what was happening and stumbled back up and felt like I was going to throw up off the ice.

I was out for a couple of weeks after that day. I missed five practices and a camp, and started to feel pressure to practice again. I wasn’t completely symptom-free but felt close enough to normal to play again. But practicing brought on a headache and I stopped after that.

I tried to go about my normal life. I was hanging out with friends, going to school, exercising, and driving. I was trying to be a normal teenager. But my symptoms made that impossible. It got to a point where I was throwing up in school because I was trying to do math problems and then throwing up again at home because I was trying to catch up on the work I couldn’t do in school.

Eight months later, I am still symptomatic and have major neck problems. My memory has suffered since the incident. Before the injury, I was doing great in school, had a big group of friends, and was a tier-1 AAA hockey player with high hopes for playing college hockey. Since the injury, I have not been able to comprehend or learn new concepts at school, hang out with friends, or even have Thanksgiving dinner without my head pounding. My head feels like Niagara Falls is rushing through it.

I had to take a break from school, my friends, and hockey to recover. During that time, I’ve picked up some strategies to help deal with my headaches and nausea. I put a blindfold on when my symptoms flare up to help subdue them for parts of the day. Screens make my symptoms worse, so I limit my phone time and stopped watching TV. Busy areas only make things worse, so I avoid them now. And as much as I want to be an athlete again, I had to stop trying to exercise to give my brain a break.

Is it working? A little. I’ve seen progress and hope my sacrifices will end up curing my concussion for good.

While I’ve dealt with my concussion, my dad has been battling Stage 4 Pancreatic Cancer, lost his job, and is bed bound in chemotherapy. Hell is an understatement for what I’m going through. While this concussion has drastically changed my life, I know that all I can do is have hope. I know I will get better and have hope that I’ll be healthy and happy one day, hope that I’ll be very physically fit again, and hope of attending a good school and playing college hockey. I have hope that my dad will have energy again and be cured of his cancer. And I hope my story can show kids who are battling a concussion how things might seem tough, but if you take the time to recover it will all get better eventually.

 

How My Brain Pledge Will Help Other Veterans

Posted: February 28, 2019 

Matt is one of thousands of people who have pledged to donate their brain to CLF to support research. He shared his thoughts about Project Enlist, CLF’s program to advance research in the military community, during Brain Pledge Month 2019. Watch the video and read on:

Why is pledging one’s brain to research something that you’d like to see catch on among service members?

I’ve pledged my brain to CLF, and as you know, I’m a veteran. My former boss, and good friend, Bob McDonald, also a veteran, who was the Secretary of the VA, has pledged his brain as well. The more veterans we can inspire to pledge their brains – veterans who have typically played sports or who have been in combat – the more work we can do toward the advancement of vital brain research.

 

It’s seriously important to get as many veterans’ brains pledged as possible. It’s very similar to pledging your organs when signing for your driver’s license. It’s a really impactful and important thing to do for research; and I think every veteran should at least consider it.

Just to be clear, for this effort to be successful in the long run, we will also need to conduct research on brain specimens that have not been subjected to trauma – to act as a control group for the research. Every pledge counts no matter the exposure you have had to brain trauma.

What do you hope Project Enlist will accomplish?

Researchers have made tremendous progress learning about the consequences of brain trauma in various sports, but there is still so much more we need to know about TBI, and the causes of PTSD and CTE in veterans. It’s critically important that we learn what is unique about the brain trauma that many veterans are exposed to during military service. Through Project Enlist, we will mobilize the military community to support this research, and I hope it accelerates efforts to improve the long-term health and well-being of not only our veterans, but of Americans in general.

 

The VA is a collaborator with Boston University and the Concussion Legacy Foundation on the VA-BU-CLF Brain Bank. What did you learn about the VA’s research capabilities while you were there, and how did you eventually get involved with the Concussion Legacy Foundation?

First of all, people know very little about the monumental research that is done at the VA, and it’s not just for veterans. The VA has conducted major pioneering heart studies, performed the first liver transplant, developed the nicotine patch, and the list of discoveries and major breakthroughs in healthcare go on and on – in fact, doctors working for the VA have received several Nobel prizes, and numerous Lasker awards. Ironically, major innovation and game-changing research are not what the VA is known for, but the VA and its brilliant researchers demonstrate these unique and significantly impactful qualities every day.

I got involved with CLF a few years ago while serving the VA under then Secretary Bob McDonald. I became intensely interested in brain science because so many veterans suffer from brain injuries and from PTSD. We thought it was critically important to explore, and better understand, why these phenomena were happening at higher rates in the military. So one of the things we (the VA) did was to start an event called “Brain Trust.” We gathered the best and brightest from all over the country in brain research, and brought them all together. We wanted to create an environment conducive to partnerships and creative thinking. During this time, Bob Costas introduced me to Chris Nowinski.  Of course Chris and the Concussion Legacy Foundation really stepped up to the plate for Brain Trust. I was so impressed by Chris, his team, and the work CLF has done, that I eventually worked with Chris to come on to CLF as an informal advisor. Ultimately, Chris and the board asked me to join in a more official capacity as a full-fledged Board member. I’m extremely honored to be part of the CLF team.

What do you hope to accomplish as a member of CLF’s Board of Directors?

First and foremost, my focus will be on improving the lives and long-term health and well-being of veterans. I hope my experience and connections in the military and veteran community will help push research forward through programs like Project Enlist, and help enhance the work CLF is already doing for veterans and their families.

The awareness of concussions and CTE right now is probably higher than it has ever been. Did you ever think about all those hits adding up while you were playing hockey for West Point or during your military service?

When you’re young, of course, you think that you’re invincible. I never really thought of the hits to my head as a boy or as a young man, but I think about it now – much more frequently. And the idea of invincibility, which is a common theme by the way, as our brain donor families talk about their loved ones – many of whom were professional athletes – and who ultimately suffered the consequences of CTE. This feeling of youthful invincibility is exactly why we need to raise awareness with young men and women, as well as their families – before CTE can take hold as a result of repeated hits to the head.

And as you translate this to military service, and the greater vulnerability to our military men and women in combat zones as they serve our country, it’s critical that we better understand what is really happening inside the brains of these brave service men and women as a result of exposure to explosions, blast, and the impact of trauma. We are only in the embryonic stages of brain research, and we need to learn so much more about how this trauma could be connected with PTSD, and other possible psychological manifestations of CTE. We have a long way to go, and the only way we can make progress is one important step at a time.

You are a prime example of a successful transition from the military to civilian life. What allowed you to make that transition so smoothly?

I’m not sure… I guess I’ve been very lucky to have had a very supportive family around me since I was a kid; and have been, and continue to be, surrounded by great people – wonderful employees, terrific bosses, talented colleagues, and extremely helpful and caring mentors.

Join Matt Collier and pledge to donate your brain.

A Powerful Documentary: “Football in America”

Posted: November 20, 2018 

I submitted this film to the Sports Emmy group back in 1982. I was amazed when it got nominated for Outstanding Achievement in Sports Programming and shocked when my brother in law called me to say he had accepted the award for me. Our small crew consisted of me as director/cameraman/interviewer, and an assistant/sound person. Funding for the film was a PBS grant out of WNET in New York City. What was most telling to me was that the sports industry was acknowledging that there was a problem with the game of football and it deserved attention. Thirty-seven years later, with today’s players bigger, stronger and faster, I want to thank Chris Nowinski and those at the Concussion Legacy Foundation for honoring our film, and its cautionary message once again.

How A Jockey is Racing Toward Concussion Safety

Posted: September 21, 2018 

The Massachusetts native was hospitalized in Washington D.C. for intensive care and spent the last year recovering from her injuries, the most persistent of which is her severe concussion. The experience showed Miller just how difficult it can be to return to life after a concussion – and how much research still needs to be done to understand the effects brain trauma can have on long-term health.

Now, Miller is pledging to donate her brain to the Concussion Legacy Foundation to raise awareness about the need for research. There is growing awareness about research on brain trauma in the jockey community, but much more progress is needed. Miller hopes that her experience and her enthusiasm to improve jockey welfare will inspire more jockeys to pledge their brains and create a larger educational movement in the racing community.

Could you tell us about your injury last year and how it happened? What has the recovery process been like for you?

I went down in a race in West Virginia and I don’t remember much of that day. After watching the replay, it looks like I was quite likely knocked out upon hitting the ground. I had one horse left behind me in the race who came along and kicked me in the jaw when he tried to jump me. Whether the brain injury came from the initial fall or getting kicked by a thousand-pound animal, I’m not sure. It could have been either or could have been both.

I ended up with two jaw fractures and three separate brain bleeds all on the surface of my brain that put me in the ICU, I’m not sure how long. Then I was in the hospital for a couple weeks, and I stayed at another rehabilitation hospital for five days after that.

 

My memories are a little fuzzy from when I first got out of the hospital. I know they warned me a lot about the possible psychological aspects of head trauma like depression and anxiety. They warned me enough when they discharged me that I remember it. Now I’ve been discharged from my speech rehab, but I’ve still been in physical therapy.

What is your general sense about how concussions are perceived in the racing world?

I think it’s more just something that’s accepted as a risk that we are willingly taking to do something that we love. From what I know, it’s not openly spoken about. The one thing I do know is we are all very aware of the risks. All of us have either heard of or met jockeys who have had serious injuries whether they be brain injuries, spinal injuries, or even deaths from going down in a race. We all know it’s a very real possibility, and that it’s significantly more a matter of luck than skill or decision making.

Why are you donating your brain to the Concussion Legacy Foundation?

I think it’s important to further both research and awareness as much as possible now, rather than getting to the point where we have parents saying it’s not safe for their kids to play sports at all because the proper research was not done ahead of time. Too many people are getting hurt, so let’s find out what adjustments need to be made now so that in the long run all of these sports that we love can keep going.

Is donating one’s brain to research something that you’d like to see catch on with your fellow jockeys and fellow riders?

Absolutely, I think it’s a good way to spread awareness. Most jockeys currently racing tend to be younger – hopefully they live nice long lives – but by the time they pass away there will probably still be research to be done. So why not donate it? We are certainly in a position to have suffered a variety of brain traumas. Most of us will get through our careers suffering numerous concussions and some will have some big brain injuries, so I think it presents a good pool of variety to gather information.

Did you struggle to manage and coordinate your recovery?

The insurance company did provide me with a nurse case manager for the first few months. She organized all my appointments and came into almost all of them with me, just in case I was struggling to ask a doctor a question or understand something, so she could get more details. We’d talk about it afterwards and she would take notes on everything, so I didn’t have to feel the pressure of trying to remember everything that was discussed. She was immensely helpful with that. It would’ve been nicer to have her a little bit longer but I’m glad I had her for as long as I did.

But I feel lucky. After a brain injury, you aren’t really in a position to be seeking help because you aren’t necessarily mentally capable. And on top of that, I grew up in America, English is my primary language and I’m familiar with our medical system. A lot of the jockeys I race with are young guys from other countries and I couldn’t imagine trying to go through this if I was still learning English at 18 years old while my family is in another country.

What do you hope the future of horse racing will look like in relation to brain injuries and jockey welfare?

I would like to see everybody get on board for making sure jockeys don’t ride when they aren’t cleared and aren’t medically ready. I don’t believe that there is ever going to be anything that will completely get rid of the risk. But I’m not looking for that as much as utilizing what’s available for technology to decrease the risk. One of the concerns for a lot of jockeys is the time spent out of work is time spent with no income. Some people rush back to work because they have families, and that’s understandable. Not every injured jockey knows about the financial resources available to us because it varies a -little bit state-to state. Also, many people are trying to put better concussion protocols in place, but they are not consistent nationwide. We need to take the best technology and the best recovery protocols and make it all a little more accessible for those that get hurt.

Join Jenn in taking the pledge to donate your brain.