“I think Ben got up that morning thinking he could cook.”

In October 2019, Linda Williams’ husband Ben Williams had just returned to their home in Jackson, Mississippi from a reunion with other Buffalo Bills alumni. Linda says Ben, 65 at the time, came back feeling like his younger self.

“He was stuck in that time period of back when he played football,” said Linda. “I couldn’t get him back. I tried to get him back, to talk about ‘now.’”

30 years earlier, Ben was the quintessential morning person and the engine of the family – often making breakfast for he and Linda’s three children and getting the family’s day started. But the Ben that woke up with intentions of making breakfast in October 2019 was no longer capable of doing much of anything by himself.

Linda woke up that morning to the sound of their dog barking, which was normal. The smoke she smelled in the hallway was not. She quickly realized Ben’s attempt to cook had gone disastrously wrong. She rushed to get them both out of their house while neighbors called the fire department. Once outside, Ben and Linda watched their house burn down.

“That didn’t faze him that much,” said Linda. “At that point, he was out of it.”

Mr. Ole Miss

Born on September 1, 1954, Robert Jerry “Ben” Williams grew up in Yazoo City, Mississippi. He and James Reed were the first African American student-athletes to sign football scholarships with Ole Miss in 1971.

Linda met Ben her freshman year at Ole Miss. Ben showed an interest in Linda, but he was two years older than her. She was weary of upperclassmen and didn’t care about football in the slightest. But Ben’s nickname – “Gentle Ben,” after the titular character from the hit 1960s TV show – was no misnomer. She eventually gave in to his persistence and the two started dating.

“From the time I met him, he was always helping people,” said Linda. “He was very outgoing, real nice, and laughed a lot.”

Ben was a standout in every way at Ole Miss. He earned first team All-American honors as a defensive end in 1975, was elected as the first African American “Mr. Ole Miss” in school history and earned his degree in Business Administration from the school in 1976.

The Buffalo Bills selected Ben in the third round of the 1976 NFL Draft. Ben and Linda married that same year before making the nearly 1,000-mile trek north from Oxford to Buffalo.

“Dollar Bill”

Over 10 seasons in Buffalo, Ben Williams amassed 52 sacks, played in three playoff games, and was named to the 1982 Pro Bowl team. Pro Football Hall of Fame defensive end Bruce Smith arrived in Buffalo in 1985 and credits some of his success to Ben’s tutelage.

“I certainly owe a lot to Ben for embracing me as a young rookie coming into the league,” said Smith to the Buffalo News in 2020. “And not only on the field, but off the field as well.”

Ben’s work ethic made him a football star, but his industriousness was not reserved for football season. Ben returned home to Mississippi every offseason with the Bills to work for a bank in Jackson. For his off-the-field hustle, Ben’s Buffalo teammates called him “Dollar Bill.”

Ben retired from football after the 1985 NFL season. He, Linda, and their three children, Rodrick, Aisha, and Jarrett, relocated to Jackson.

Once in Jackson, Ben started his own company, LYNCO Construction. As busy as he was, Ben maintained the generous spirit he had at Ole Miss. He was very active in local charities, especially those benefitting children.

“He never did stop,” said Linda. “Anytime anybody needed something, they would call Ben and he was there.”

A Different Ben

Ben had always been easygoing and unflappable. If he ever had a bad game, he processed his frustration by watching hours of film to correct his mistakes.

But as Ben entered his 40s, his anger began to flare up. His whole life he had been the big man on campus and a beloved teammate. Little by little, Linda noticed some of his closest friends stopped hanging around as much. Later, she learned those friends had not left Ben – Ben had rudely pushed them away.

Linda experienced this new side of Ben, too. When she came home from work, she often noticed Ben stewing in anger in a way he never had before. The mood swings were so alarming and so out of character that family and friends no longer recognized the Ben they once knew.

In the next decade, Ben’s mood swings lessened, and he became more docile. As Ben mellowed, he started experiencing a new set of challenges.

Ben was struggling cognitively, and it sometimes took him days to recall the answers to some of Linda’s questions.

At this point of Ben’s life, re-living the past was much easier than managing the present. He struggled to remember anything short-term, but he came alive in conversations about his days at Ole Miss and with the Bills. He loved watching “Sanford and Son” and old John Wayne and Clint Eastwood movies – anything with a familiar plotline he could follow.

Ben’s driving became problematic as time went on. He routinely got lost on his way to events. Friends often told Linda they saw Ben aimlessly driving around town and were worried about him.

“He wouldn’t tell me he needed help because he didn’t want me to know,” said Linda. “He just pushed himself and made himself do things.”

Ben hid the full extent of his issues for as long as he could. After the house burned down in 2019, Linda and Aisha were trying to reconcile the family’s sudden financial problems – as “Dollar Bill” could no longer handle finances like he always had. They realized Ben had not been going to work every day for nearly 10 years like he said he was.

“Be Gentle”

Ben’s physical health and cognitive state eventually required full-time care. Linda quit her job to fill the role.

After the fire, many of the friends who had become strangers since Ben’s 40s soon came back around to visit. They laughed with Ben through old memories and old games. For all the joy, Linda remembers many of Ben’s old friends leaving their home in tears over the condition he was in.

In April 2020, Ben suffered a stroke and was placed in a rehabilitation center. The COVID-19 pandemic had struck a month earlier, so the family’s ability to visit him was limited to speaking to him through a glass window.

On May 17, Linda visited him in the evening. She repeatedly called his name to get his attention. Finally, Ben turned to the window, looked at Linda, and said, “Hey, Linda. I see you.”

Ben Williams died the next day.

Towards the end of Ben’s life, a group of retired ex-players in Mississippi reached out to Linda and recommended she donate his brain to the UNITE Brain Bank for CTE research. Linda was vaguely aware of CTE and had seen news reports about former NFL linebacker Junior Seau’s CTE diagnosis years earlier. When Ben died, she agreed to donate his brain.

Months later, researchers informed Linda that Ben had between stage 3 and stage 4 (of 4) CTE. The severity of Ben’s CTE surprised Linda. Ben had never talked about his concussion history or raised any concerns about having CTE.

“He was strong,” said Linda. “Even though he was having those problems, he was fighting it.”

Linda wants to share Ben’s story and CTE diagnosis to help explain to those who knew Ben why he may have exploded on them and alienated them years ago.

“I want the people who thought he was crazy to know that he was not,” said Linda.

Sharing his story also honors Ben’s lifelong legacy of helping others. Linda knows there are other spouses like her and other former players like Ben who could learn from their journey. Armed with the knowledge she has now, she says she would encourage spouses worried about a loved one with suspected CTE to seek professional care.

Linda also urges other loved ones of suspected CTE to pray, to practice empathy, and to remember Ben’s first nickname.

“Be gentle,” said Linda. “Be calm, and don’t fault him.”

Stanley Tobias Wilson Jr. was a compassionate, talented, and courageous man who died Feb. 1, 2023, at the age of 40. He was the blessed, beloved, and only child born from the union of Stanley Tobias Wilson Sr., and Dr. D. Pulane Lucas. Stanley was born on November 5, 1982, in Oklahoma City, about 20 miles from where his father played football at the University of Oklahoma. Stanley later lived with his parents in Cincinnati, where his father was a star NFL running back with the Bengals. Stanley would eventually move to Oakland, Calif. with his mother.

Stanley lived in the Bay Area while his mother completed her undergraduate degree. When she decided to relocate to New England to further her education, Stanley’s paternal grandparents, Henry and Beverly Wilson, became his loving and legal guardians in Carson, Calif. This move allowed Stanley to remain close to his father, relatives, and numerous friends while attending Frederick K.C. Price Christian School. At Price, at the age of 13 in the 9th grade, he was introduced to football, and he began to thrive as an athlete.

Growing up, Stanley also spent time in Boston with his mother, who was studying at Harvard University. He enjoyed serving as a ball boy for the Harvard University basketball team, attending classes with his mother, and walking around the university and Harvard Square. But a brutal winter, combined with a longing for athletic opportunities and the entertainment and holidays at his grandparents’ home led him back to Carson in the custody of his grandparents.

Upon his return, Stanley enrolled in Bishop Montgomery High School in Torrance, where he became a standout football player as a safety and member of the track team. He also performed in theater productions, served as a calculus tutor, and was crowned homecoming king.

Stanford University recruited Stanley to play defensive back for their football team from 2001-2004. As a senior, he recorded career highs for both tackles and pass breakups, earning an honorable mention on the All-Pac-10 team. Stanley also proved to be a dominant sprinter on the Cardinal track team, posting some of the school’s best results in 100 and 200-meter events. His 100-meter time of 10.46 is still the fourth-fastest all-time by a Stanford athlete.

Stanley’s peers elected him to be a senator in Stanford’s Associated Student Body. He pledged Omega Psi Phi Fraternity (Alpha Mu Chapter) and served as vice president (2003-2004). Stanley became a mentor in the Children’s Visitation Program, where he focused on inspiring youth with incarcerated parents to become positive assets in society. In 2005, Stanley graduated with a B.A. in Urban Studies.

The Detroit Lions drafted Stanley in the third round of the 2005 NFL Draft. He focused on becoming a premier football player and second-generation NFL player. In 32 NFL games, Stanley Jr. racked up 86 tackles, eight pass deflections, and one forced fumble. In 2007, he was placed on injured reserve due to a knee injury, then re-signed to a one-year deal. Unfortunately, he tore his Achilles tendon during an exhibition game against the New York Giants, ending his career in the NFL.

Regardless of his situation, Stanley made time to volunteer and help those in need. From 2005-07, he was a motivational speaker, inspiring high school students to focus on education, health, fitness, and achieving their goals.

Stanley cherished spending time with family and friends, driving, reading, conducting research, and listening to music. He traveled the world, to places like the Caribbean, Italy, South Africa, Australia, Israel, and Egypt. He was an avid learner with a brilliant mind. He knew a quality education, real-world experiences, and a network of friends and mentors were critical for him as he transitioned into a successful post-NFL career.

In 2008, Stanley completed a certificate at the Aresty Institute of Executive Education and the Wharton Sports Business Initiative’s Business Management and Entrepreneurship Program. The Wharton program at the University of Pennsylvania was sponsored by the NFL and the NFL Players Association.

In 2009, Stanley completed The NFL Player Development Program: High Growth Entrepreneurship at Northwestern University. The same year, he enrolled in the Hunter-Bellevue School of Nursing in New York City. He earned his nursing degree in 2014. After graduation, Stanley worked in the healthcare field in New York and later relocated to Portland, Oregon. He eventually returned to Carson to live with his grandmother.

Throughout his life, Stanley was a team player who cherished his friendships and valued his relationships with teammates and fraternity brothers. He courageously accepted new challenges with a strong faith in God and love of family. Stanley greeted each new day resilient with hope, optimism, purpose, and drive. He never stopped longing for the life that he knew he deserved.

Yet, over time, Stanley’s behavior reflected the signs of his struggles with the trauma of same gender childhood sexual abuse, mental illness, drug addiction, and indications of chronic traumatic encephalopathy (CTE), a condition that links brain degeneration to repeated hits to the head. Having been deemed incompetent to stand trial, Stanley spent the final months of his life in the custody of the Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department (LASD). He died under suspicious circumstances.

Stanley Wilson Jr.’s family would like to thank the Detroit Lions, Stanford University, Bishop Montgomery High School, Frederick K.C. Price Christian School, and many of Stanley’s friends and teammates who have shared their condolences, kind words, and memories.

Beloved husband, father and friend

Jeff was 6’5”, well built, and extremely handsome, reminding me of a Greek God with his curly black hair, deep brown eyes and a sculpted black beard. His smile and laugh were infectious and would brighten up any room. He was born in a small agricultural town in North Central California called Turlock, where melons, turkeys, nuts and wine were their major source of income. Blue Diamond Almonds and Gallo Winery’s corporate offices were just up the street in Modesto.

His father, Glen, had a local State Farm agency and his mother, Janice, was a homemaker. He grew up with two older sisters, Shari and Sandra. Everyone knew everyone in Turlock. Jeff excelled in sports, playing basketball, football and track at Turlock High School. Upon graduating from high school in 1969, he went to Modesto Junior College in Modesto, California, where he became the only six-letter winner in basketball and football. The college also claimed, in 1993, at his induction into their Hall of Fame, that he still held the record for the most unpaid parking tickets.

In his second year at Modesto Junior College, his lifelong dream came true. He was offered a scholarship to USC in Southern California to play football for Coach John McKay.

His first year at USC was a real eye opener, especially coming from a small agricultural town. He struggled with his academics and the big city life. However, in his second year there, he came to life on the field and was moved to first string. That year, he received the 1972 “Most Improved Player” award from Coach McKay.

His USC football team went on to become National Champions, winning the Rose Bowl in 1973 against Ohio State. Thirty three percent of the players were drafted to the pros. Jeff was second round draft pick (#32) and went to the Buffalo Bills. He played six seasons with the NFL. He loved the game and had a strong connection with his teammates.

Jeff started nine games in 1973 as defensive tackle. A torn ACL took him out for part of the season. In 1976, Jeff was traded twice, first to the New Orleans Saints where he played only three games, and second to the Oakland Raiders with Coach John Madden. At that time, Madden decided to move him to offensive guard. An unexpected trade took him to Tampa Bay in 1977.

Jeff fit in well at Tampa and McKay (his former USC Coach), kept him at offensive guard. December 12, 1977, after being 0-26, the Bucs won their first game against New Orleans. Jeff was back on his game but it was short-lived. In 1978 he sustained major back, neck and more head injuries–forcing him to sit out the rest of the season.

The first time I saw Jeff, he was visiting some of his friends from Buffalo at the apartment complex I lived in in Clearwater, Florida. My roommate introduced us at a local bar June of 1979. We started dating and in August during an exhibition game, his foot was injured and he was waived by the Bucs. A few months later he was picked up again by The Oakland Raiders. By that time Jeff and I had fallen in love and he asked me to go with him.

Our move back to California was an exciting one and we took up residence in Modesto. Jeff worked very hard and was back on track but in the 1980 Season, Jeff was injured with a crushed ankle. The Raiders went on to win Superbowl XV. July, 1981, after refusing to sign a waiver on his ankle and back, Jeff’s career as a professional football player ended. It was a crushing blow for him and I was thrown into the role of sole support of the family. Our talk of marriage was hard for him because he wanted to be able to support me the way he had in the past. Two months later a long weekend trip to Reno to see Smokey Robinson turned out to be a surprise wedding that he had been planning for months. We were married December 19, 1981.

He was offered a job at Modesto Junior College, but embarrassed after three days, he had to quit. His headaches, depression and physical injuries from football took a toll on him. His Sleep insomnia became worse. He started seeing a psychologist, and we worked through the next few years. In 1984, things were looking up so we decided to try and have a baby. November of 1984, Jeff sustained a life threatening gunshot accident while we were moving and wasn’t expected to live. A few days later the blessing came when I found out I was pregnant with our only child Travis, born August 2, 1985, our greatest blessing.

After multiple surgeries, infections and bankruptcy, the fall of 1988, we decided to move back to Florida. A few years later, Jeff’s right leg below the knee was amputated. He met Michael Reith with St. Pete Limb and Brace who fitted Jeff with a prosthetic and Jeff started volunteering with Mike, talking to other amputees. It was the first time in a long time I had seen Jeff so excited.

In 1992, he founded Day For Our Children, Inc., a 501(c)(3) to help abused, neglected kids and families who fell thru the government cracks or whose children needed surgeries that insurance companies wouldn’t pay for. A year later, he brought Outback, GTE wireless, Continental Airlines and ASI Building Products on board as major sponsors. We didn’t know how to raise money, but Jeff knew golf and he started some of the first Celebrity Golf Events in the Tampa Bay area. We met Tom and Lisa McHale at a fundraising event in 1993. Lisa and I have recently shared those photos and reflected on those wonderful times. In 1996 he became President of the Local NFL Alumni Chapter and was able to recruit more former players in the area to join. He was an excellent president and I was so proud of him. But his headaches and back and arm pain, numbness, and insomnia continued. It was more than he could handle and in 1998 I took over as President of the foundation.

Our son Travis started high school in 1999 and like his Dad, excelled in basketball. Travis was Jeff’s everything and he was able to work with him on his game and he was a wonderful father. By 2001, I was noticing more memory lapses, which I attributed to the prescription drugs he was on. Conversations we would have he didn’t remember which would turn to anger and frustration. His decision making and spending got out of hand and he began overdrawing our accounts. In 2002, he decided to get help and was diagnosed with Manic Depression/Bi-Polar and Borderline Personality Disorder. The Doctor put him on Lithium and Wellbutrin XL. It seemed to work for a while, and then he became more erratic with obsessive compulsive behavior making sure everything was in its place at all times. For a few weeks at a time, I would have my loving Jeff back and the loving wonderful man I knew. Then without warning, he would explode. He would have to write everything down four or five times. He would make plans and then stiff people. He became a recluse except for only a few close friends.

We separated in October, 2005, and he moved back to California. We stayed close and I still worried about him all the time. April, 2007, our son Travis decided to move out to California to finish school and play football. I was so happy that he and Jeff could be together again and the family bond began to reignite.

May of 2007, I was housesitting at my girlfriend’s home and came upon a TV show called HBO’s Real Sports with Bryant Gumbel. Bernie Goldberg was interviewing a young man named Chris Nowinski, author of Head Games, about his advocacy work raising awareness of the devastating consequences of sports concussions.

As Chris described the symptoms and long-term side effects of multiple concussions and repetitive hits to the head, a large knot in my stomach took me back to the deadly emotions over the years that at that time, had taken my marriage to a point of no return. I began to question if the emotional and behavioral problems that Jeff had been experiencing most of our married life were not what I thought they were, but possible after effects of his eleven-plus concussions and repetitive hits to the head, from playing professional football. I needed to know more about these concussions, so I found Chris on the internet and emailed him. Within twenty-four hours, he emailed me back and we set a time for a phone conversation a few days later. I told him about our story and that people have no idea what the families go through. He encouraged me to come to Washington DC for the Press conference and hearings. I was shocked to find so many other families going through the same thing.

Over the next three years, I became a sponge learning about concussions and I knew it was God that directed me to that HBO channel because if it hadn’t been for Chris’s interview, I never would have thought that Jeff’s problems could have been attributed to concussions.

In 2010, Travis moved back to Florida and Jeff and I started to re-kindle our romance. I was able to get Jeff into rehab at The Summit Recovery Lodge in Utah, June 2010. It was there Jeff found his spirit again. February 2012, Jeff flew here for a visit. He decided to make the move back to Florida. Travis was so excited to have his Dad back here. We both missed the family unit and our love for each other was stronger than ever. October 2012, on a two week visit with him in California, we decided to tell Travis we were back together and made plans to remarry, March 2, 2013.

But God had a different plan and on December 21, 2012, he took Jeff home. He was the love of my life; a kind, sensitive, loving man and my best friend. I know when he passed there was love, peace and joy in his heart. My goal now is to educate, promote the research and help as many families as I can. It’s an honor to share our story and I want to thank Chris for all the hard work and forming the Concussion Legacy Foundation. Together we are one.

To learn more about Jeff and Brandi’s story read Brandi’s memoir, The Flip Side of Glory, on Amazon, Kindle and Nook.